Here's a thought, if you're willing to listen

What can't stay goes away

Confrontation is an act of grace in which the confronter is showing that he or she cares enough about the relationship with the other to risk experiencing the discomfort of controversy in order to move that relationship toward greater emotional and psychological intimacy

Donigan & Malnati, 2006, p. 98-99

Choose carefully which relationships you want to push toward greater intimacy


"That which is impenetrable to us really exists. Behind the secrets of nature remains something subtle, intangible, and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion."

I should become more familiar with Einstein's work. He sounds like my sort of guy.

Insight on Life
I feel like my ability to have insight has grown exponentially in the past week or two. How crazy. I feel older more mature, and developing into my professional self.

Work: I took on a new position at Hillside working only a couple hrs a week in conjunction with my current job. I have been given a case and will hopefully meet with my new client next week. I have been given the role of CAMT which is Crisis Avoidance Management and Training. WOW! I am super nervous, but I feel like this is going to be an amazing experience for me :) I feel like I finally have the abilities to help others to the capacity
that I want to at this time, and this ability will only grow with more experience. Therefore by the time I graduate in May, I believe that I will certainly be ready for a job!

I was experiencing some anxiety about obtaining a real job after graduation. I shouldn't say was. Despite my new found confidence in my skills in the human services field, it is scary to think about having a real job, with real responsibilities. I suppose I have rather large responsibilities now, such as the welfare of children. Ya know, making sure they don't die or anything. But I don't know. I obviously want to get out of the group home setting, and out of DD for a while and see where that takes me.

I have more news, but will save that for a later date, as I need to get ready for class and have been distracted with other things all morning!!

Last week of Freedom
So this is my last week of freedom before classes start next Monday. I am attending my orientation for my internship tomorrow morning. Bad thing is that they are taking my ID picture and I look like crap and I have not had my hair cut yet. So my picutre won't look very good. Oh well. But I'll try and transform by the weekend. Hair Cut, Pedicure, and all that fun stuff. Take care of myself and I'll be good to go!

So really there is a lot to get done this last week of freedom.

I'm excited for our housewarming party this weekend. It isn't 100% yet, but will it ever be a hundred percent? We will see. It looks pretty damn good though! Yay for awesome apartments :)

I have mixed emotions about school, and life......... oh dear ::Sigh:: I just seem so confused at times I have no idea what to think/feel/believe.

One day at a time

Almost done!
So it has been over a month since an update. I have been soooooooooo busy. But my last paper of the summer is due next week and then it is time to get ready for the fall. I need to order my books. I have not gotten around to that yet. Books ugh. Money. I just don't have enough of that right now. I spent a little carelessly this summer I feel like. I don't have any facts to back that up really, cause I haven't been keeping track of my bank account, it is just how I feel at the moment.

Hillside- I am now working at Lehigh B in Henrietta. Things are going well there and I like it a lot better than Farmington for sure. Life has been easier since I started at Lehigh for a multitude of reasons probably. One super plus is that I feel like I hardly fill up my gas tank anymore! Driving to Macedon was so far, but Henrietta, so much closer! YAY for saving money :-) I had an interview yesterday for a Behavior Specialist position within Hillside and DD services where I currently am employed. They are moving through the interviews fast and said I should know by monday. So I'll keep people posted on that. Pray that all the other people who were interviewed for the position sucked lol

So Steph and I are still settling into our new place. I'll be getting some more things set up on Friday but I hope to have the decorations and such done by the end of the Month. I want to wait until Steph has all her things moved in before I do all the decorating so I can see a finished product. Our Apt is fabulous though for the people who haven't seen it yet. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE It! I think people are going to come by before east end for a small showing if you wanna see it. humph I don't know how I feel about east end though. It is so expensive and crowded! But anywho I guess Friday is tomorrow geeze. How the weeks go by too fast for me.

Ok, well time to finish getting ready and off to the library. yay for actually waking up at a decent time (8am) so I should be out of my house by 10 today, instead of closer to noon as what seems to be happening lately.

Wish me Luck! Can't wait to pound out this paper!

Oh, and I'm turtle sitting at the moment. So there is a turtle in my apt!

Send me a Card
So I am transferring to Lehigh B on July 20th. I will still have a job but my work schedule is going to be different and it totally is not worked out yet. So with that said. Park Ave Fest, Saturday Night is better for me!!! What are the park ave plans? I will be in my new apartment with Steph O but def won't be settled in yet lol. So yea... let me know what is up!

Fun: So I've been having lots of fun recently!! Been going out ALL the time which makes it feel like summer. Since the weather isn't making it feel like summer, I need to dramatically increase my nights out to increase my fun level to make up for the past year, and the year to come of no fun.

School: I'm finishing up Psychopathology. One more class and we have a take home final woot woot. Def will have an A in the class. So that is cool. Then the following week I start a class T/TH from 2p-6p for the next 5 weeks.

Travel (Dreams): So I talked to my friend Jenny today. She is going to be starting graduate school in American Studies! She will be good at that. With that she will be "studying abroad" for one semester. Either in DC, California, or Hawaii. So depending on what she picks I wanna go visit her while she is in the states. So there is my next vacation (hopefully). AND we are going to start planning our out of country trip where we meet up somewhere amazing. She suggested New Zealand because she has family there. So free place to stay!! I'm so down. Cut down on the costs because I don't have a lot of money, but I have many dreams and aspirations. I could always take out a bond to offset the cost. Maybe I'll do that. But that won't be for like a year and a half since their seasons are opposite, we'd go in the winter months. Maybe we could go in February 2011 for my birthday! That would be sweet. I am also going to take a class that involves going to Jamaica in Feb 2010. So that will be kickass. So I should probably stop going to the bars every night and start saving for that...

As far as finding the man of my dreams, I foresee being single for a long while to come.

Out of Body
It all feels surreal. This all couldn't be happening to me could it? Then reality hits. It IS happening. How can people be so mean to another human being? Don't people understand the needs of others? Is it OK that one persons actions can completely change the course of another's life? Especially in a not so good way? What does this mean for me financially? What does it mean socially? You go through your life thinking things like, well I can work through college to keep an income, then one day your income is gone? What do you do about bills? A place to live? How is money so important that one is willing to compromise their happiness in order to obtain it. Money is NECESSARY for survival. Where do I cut down the spending? I already spend as little as possible as is... My homeostasis is not homogeneous anymore...

A Generation Lost
My Grandpa passed away Monday evening. He has went into the Hospital of Father's Day, was there for a while, then went to the infirmary. He stopped eating and thus was not getting better. My Dad thinks he knew what was happening and he didn't want to prolong the process. My Dad was in the room with him when he died, so I am glad for that. I haven't seen my Dad yet though, which I don't like. I don't live far away, but at times it is annoying.

So this has made me debate on the 3rd if I should go or not cause calling hrs are 5-8 on Friday. But I do want to be with my friends, and especially be there with Mari. I just gotta get things worked out. My Cousin is having a 4th of July Part in Sat, so maybe the fam can get together there for a while. He is now calling it the Sneezy Memorial 1st Annual 4th of July Party. So that is pretty cool.

The week of drinking continues with Jen's Birthday tonight! Woot

Facing Reality
One step at a time


So, looks like I will hopefully be gone from Farmington Rd soon. I talked with the directer of DD services yesterday at work and he sent an e-mail to my HR rep. and she is suppose to look into non-residential positions for me. I checked out the website and looked at the internal listings and I found a part time position so I just applied for that today. I put in my year... it is time to move on. I can barely move right now. My back is so freakin sore. Ugh.

So I just bought 2 books for my summer class that starts in the middle of June. I got the DSM V-TR. I got it $30 cheaper on amazon!! And another book which I saved $25! Oh how I love the internets! So I am all set for that class. He also wants us to buy his freakin book he wrote about marital infidelity... gay. Not buying it. For my other summer class I think I'm going to borrow the books from someone else as I have a feeling I wouldn't want to keep those books. That is for social work and Religion. So yeah. Much rather have the psychopath books. So I'm all set for the summer! YAY :)


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