nordob

Confrontation is an act of grace in which the confronter is showing that he or she cares enough about the relationship with the other to risk experiencing the discomfort of controversy in order to move that relationship toward greater emotional and psychological intimacy

Donigan & Malnati, 2006, p. 98-99


Choose carefully which relationships you want to push toward greater intimacy

Stacey

So, this is it. I know I've said this before. But we're all done now. Chris was being a complete dick to me yesterday morning and I talked to my mom went out for lunch with my Dad and was feelin good. I am looking forward to not crying all the time. And missing out of things because of it. Went out with Adrienne from school last night and I felt SO good when i got home. Right after I get home though, he texts me! I was so pissed off last night and this morning. I just need to put closure to everything. I'm sick of being hurt so much. Adrienne was a big support for me last night. I'm glad she sent a text message. It was a good talk.

With putting Chris behind me I've been able to get more in the Halloween Spirit!! I'm so excited. FINALLY. I'm taking my client trick or treating in Geneva too. So I'll probably be working till 7 then be at home by 8 for fun times.

Thanks to the peeps who have been a big support to me by listening, validating, trying to motivate me - and when not motivated still patient with me lol. Not sure where I'd be without the support.


Happiness is only real when shared

Chris broke up with his girlfriend. Things don't seem to have changed. My stomach is sinking.

"That which is impenetrable to us really exists. Behind the secrets of nature remains something subtle, intangible, and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion."

I should become more familiar with Einstein's work. He sounds like my sort of guy.

Lots of thoughts have just been bubbling everywhere. The other news was in relation to the fact that I went camping with Chris on Friday, then the other day he said he didn't want to talk to me for a while so he can "move on" but then continued to talk to me. I had some really good insight though when we had a long discussion the other day. It makes me feel more confident with my career.

Speaking of career I have 2 clients right now and I start therapy with both of them on Thursday! The caseload begins. My supervisor says that I'll probably carry a caseload of 25 during my time interning there. She also said that I'm doing a great job considering that I've only been there for 2 weeks now. So I feel GREAT!

Went to the Otter last night, watched football and hung out. It was fun. I'm still having fun!! YAY.

Ok. I'm tired.

I feel like my ability to have insight has grown exponentially in the past week or two. How crazy. I feel older more mature, and developing into my professional self.

Work: I took on a new position at Hillside working only a couple hrs a week in conjunction with my current job. I have been given a case and will hopefully meet with my new client next week. I have been given the role of CAMT which is Crisis Avoidance Management and Training. WOW! I am super nervous, but I feel like this is going to be an amazing experience for me :) I feel like I finally have the abilities to help others to the capacity
that I want to at this time, and this ability will only grow with more experience. Therefore by the time I graduate in May, I believe that I will certainly be ready for a job!

I was experiencing some anxiety about obtaining a real job after graduation. I shouldn't say was. Despite my new found confidence in my skills in the human services field, it is scary to think about having a real job, with real responsibilities. I suppose I have rather large responsibilities now, such as the welfare of children. Ya know, making sure they don't die or anything. But I don't know. I obviously want to get out of the group home setting, and out of DD for a while and see where that takes me.

I have more news, but will save that for a later date, as I need to get ready for class and have been distracted with other things all morning!!

So this is my last week of freedom before classes start next Monday. I am attending my orientation for my internship tomorrow morning. Bad thing is that they are taking my ID picture and I look like crap and I have not had my hair cut yet. So my picutre won't look very good. Oh well. But I'll try and transform by the weekend. Hair Cut, Pedicure, and all that fun stuff. Take care of myself and I'll be good to go!

So really there is a lot to get done this last week of freedom.

I'm excited for our housewarming party this weekend. It isn't 100% yet, but will it ever be a hundred percent? We will see. It looks pretty damn good though! Yay for awesome apartments :)

I have mixed emotions about school, and life......... oh dear ::Sigh:: I just seem so confused at times I have no idea what to think/feel/believe.

One day at a time

So it has been over a month since an update. I have been soooooooooo busy. But my last paper of the summer is due next week and then it is time to get ready for the fall. I need to order my books. I have not gotten around to that yet. Books ugh. Money. I just don't have enough of that right now. I spent a little carelessly this summer I feel like. I don't have any facts to back that up really, cause I haven't been keeping track of my bank account, it is just how I feel at the moment.

Hillside- I am now working at Lehigh B in Henrietta. Things are going well there and I like it a lot better than Farmington for sure. Life has been easier since I started at Lehigh for a multitude of reasons probably. One super plus is that I feel like I hardly fill up my gas tank anymore! Driving to Macedon was so far, but Henrietta, so much closer! YAY for saving money :-) I had an interview yesterday for a Behavior Specialist position within Hillside and DD services where I currently am employed. They are moving through the interviews fast and said I should know by monday. So I'll keep people posted on that. Pray that all the other people who were interviewed for the position sucked lol

So Steph and I are still settling into our new place. I'll be getting some more things set up on Friday but I hope to have the decorations and such done by the end of the Month. I want to wait until Steph has all her things moved in before I do all the decorating so I can see a finished product. Our Apt is fabulous though for the people who haven't seen it yet. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE It! I think people are going to come by before east end for a small showing if you wanna see it. humph I don't know how I feel about east end though. It is so expensive and crowded! But anywho I guess Friday is tomorrow geeze. How the weeks go by too fast for me.

Ok, well time to finish getting ready and off to the library. yay for actually waking up at a decent time (8am) so I should be out of my house by 10 today, instead of closer to noon as what seems to be happening lately.

Wish me Luck! Can't wait to pound out this paper!

Oh, and I'm turtle sitting at the moment. So there is a turtle in my apt!

Job:
So I am transferring to Lehigh B on July 20th. I will still have a job but my work schedule is going to be different and it totally is not worked out yet. So with that said. Park Ave Fest, Saturday Night is better for me!!! What are the park ave plans? I will be in my new apartment with Steph O but def won't be settled in yet lol. So yea... let me know what is up!

Fun: So I've been having lots of fun recently!! Been going out ALL the time which makes it feel like summer. Since the weather isn't making it feel like summer, I need to dramatically increase my nights out to increase my fun level to make up for the past year, and the year to come of no fun.

School: I'm finishing up Psychopathology. One more class and we have a take home final woot woot. Def will have an A in the class. So that is cool. Then the following week I start a class T/TH from 2p-6p for the next 5 weeks.

Travel (Dreams): So I talked to my friend Jenny today. She is going to be starting graduate school in American Studies! She will be good at that. With that she will be "studying abroad" for one semester. Either in DC, California, or Hawaii. So depending on what she picks I wanna go visit her while she is in the states. So there is my next vacation (hopefully). AND we are going to start planning our out of country trip where we meet up somewhere amazing. She suggested New Zealand because she has family there. So free place to stay!! I'm so down. Cut down on the costs because I don't have a lot of money, but I have many dreams and aspirations. I could always take out a bond to offset the cost. Maybe I'll do that. But that won't be for like a year and a half since their seasons are opposite, we'd go in the winter months. Maybe we could go in February 2011 for my birthday! That would be sweet. I am also going to take a class that involves going to Jamaica in Feb 2010. So that will be kickass. So I should probably stop going to the bars every night and start saving for that...

As far as finding the man of my dreams, I foresee being single for a long while to come.

It all feels surreal. This all couldn't be happening to me could it? Then reality hits. It IS happening. How can people be so mean to another human being? Don't people understand the needs of others? Is it OK that one persons actions can completely change the course of another's life? Especially in a not so good way? What does this mean for me financially? What does it mean socially? You go through your life thinking things like, well I can work through college to keep an income, then one day your income is gone? What do you do about bills? A place to live? How is money so important that one is willing to compromise their happiness in order to obtain it. Money is NECESSARY for survival. Where do I cut down the spending? I already spend as little as possible as is... My homeostasis is not homogeneous anymore...

My Grandpa passed away Monday evening. He has went into the Hospital of Father's Day, was there for a while, then went to the infirmary. He stopped eating and thus was not getting better. My Dad thinks he knew what was happening and he didn't want to prolong the process. My Dad was in the room with him when he died, so I am glad for that. I haven't seen my Dad yet though, which I don't like. I don't live far away, but at times it is annoying.

So this has made me debate on the 3rd if I should go or not cause calling hrs are 5-8 on Friday. But I do want to be with my friends, and especially be there with Mari. I just gotta get things worked out. My Cousin is having a 4th of July Part in Sat, so maybe the fam can get together there for a while. He is now calling it the Sneezy Memorial 1st Annual 4th of July Party. So that is pretty cool.

The week of drinking continues with Jen's Birthday tonight! Woot

One step at a time

::sigh::

So, looks like I will hopefully be gone from Farmington Rd soon. I talked with the directer of DD services yesterday at work and he sent an e-mail to my HR rep. and she is suppose to look into non-residential positions for me. I checked out the website and looked at the internal listings and I found a part time position so I just applied for that today. I put in my year... it is time to move on. I can barely move right now. My back is so freakin sore. Ugh.

So I just bought 2 books for my summer class that starts in the middle of June. I got the DSM V-TR. I got it $30 cheaper on amazon!! And another book which I saved $25! Oh how I love the internets! So I am all set for that class. He also wants us to buy his freakin book he wrote about marital infidelity... gay. Not buying it. For my other summer class I think I'm going to borrow the books from someone else as I have a feeling I wouldn't want to keep those books. That is for social work and Religion. So yeah. Much rather have the psychopath books. So I'm all set for the summer! YAY :)

Well I have received my first black eye. Thank you TD.

It isn't too bad though. A little swollen and nothing a little make-up shouldn't fix.

Being a Social Work major, many people do not really know what my role will be once I graduate. When I graduate I will have an MSW (Masters in Social Work). I will soon take a licensing exam then I will become an LMSW(Licensed Masters in Social Work). I will get a job and work under the supervision of an LCSW. After 3 years of supervision I can then take another exam and become an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). I will then continue to receive clinical supervision under an LCSW, psychologist, or psychiatrist for 3 more years. At this point I can earn my reimbursement privileged which means I can accept 3 party payments through insurance companies. I will then have an LCSW-R. I hope to achieve this end goal by 30 years of age.

Here are some terms:

Licensed Clinical Social Worker: The practice of clinical social work encompasses the scope of practice of licensed master social work and, in addition, includes the diagnosis of mental, emotional, behavioral, addictive and developmental disorders and disabilities and of the psychosocial aspects of illness, injury, disability and impairment undertaken within a psychosocial framework; administration and interpretation of tests and measures of psychosocial functioning; development and implementation of appropriate assessment-based treatment plans; and the provision of crisis oriented psychotherapy and brief, short-term and long-term psychotherapy and psychotherapeutic treatment to individuals, couples, families and groups, habilitation, psychoanalysis and behavior therapy; all undertaken for the purpose of preventing, assessing, treating, ameliorating and resolving psychosocial dysfunction with the goal of maintaining and enhancing the mental, emotional, behavioral and social functioning and well-being of individuals, couples, families, small groups, organizations, communities and society.

Diagnosis: Diagnosis in the context of licensed clinical social work practice is the process of distinguishing, beyond general social work assessment, between similar mental, emotional, behavioral, developmental and addictive disorders, impairments and disabilities within a psychosocial framework on the basis of their similar and unique characteristics consistent with accepted classification systems.

Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy in the content of licensed clinical social work practice is the use of verbal methods in interpersonal relationships with the intent of assisting a person or persons to modify attitudes and behavior which are intellectually, socially, or emotionally maladaptive.

Assessment-based treatment plans: Development of assessment-based treatment plans in the context of licensed clinical social work practice refers to the development of an integrated plan of prioritized interventions, that is based on the diagnosis and psychosocial assessment of the client, to address mental, emotional, behavioral, developmental and addictive disorders, impairments and disabilities, reactions to illnesses, injuries, disabilities and impairments, and social problems.

LCSW Reimbursement: An LCSW is recognized in New York State as a reimbursable psychotherapist. The insurance law has been called "make available legislation," because an insurance company is required to provide reimbursement for social work services only at the request of the insured group (which is usually represented by a labor union). The LCSW's clients may receive reimbursement for mental health services under the regulation and limitations of the insurance law. Information on LCSWs is available here, listed by the name of the Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

Psychotherapy "R" Privilege: An LCSW who fulfills the requirements of the insurance law for supervised experience providing psychotherapy, is recognized in New York State as a reimbursable psychotherapist. The "R" privilege requires insurance carriers to provide reimbursement for psychotherapy services whenever a health insurance contract includes reimbursement of qualified psychologists and psychiatrists. The "R" statute has been called "mandatory legislation." This designation is added to one's license number (e.g., LCSW R123456) and the practitioner's clients must receive reimbursement for mental health services under the regulation and limitations of the insurance law. Information on LCSWs who have the "R" privilege is available here, listed by name of Licensed Clinical Social Worker.


In case anyone was wondering what I do/am learning how to do/will do. :)

Ok, I should really be working on my paper... so I can some day accomplish this goal!

This is not spring weather!!! GRRRR Oh well, I'm not planning on shopping for Spring clothes until May anyways. I will also be shopping for a new computer. FINALLY. So May is shopping month for Stacey :) It will also be a stress reliever month to recoup from this God awful semester. Pedicures anyone??

Well I still have a shitload of work to do. I took next monday off of work to have some extra time to myself and my internship hours won't be 20 a week like they have been for the past couple of weeks. I hope I can get everything done, and do it well at that.

I decided to only take 2 classes this summer and to work only part time come the fall semester. I'll drop down to 22 hrs a week.

Going to go on a "trip" with my cousin, aunt, and mother sometime in May or June to my bros hotel and get a spa treatment. Kickass. So I'm looking forward to that. I'd like to go on trips and do a bunch of fun stuff if possible since I won't be taking a class then anymore. So I need to live it up before I begin my summer classes toward the end of June.

Okay, so I'm very frustrated with one of my professors right now. Needless to say I can't have fun this weekend or next weekend. Then after that I'm going to be continually busy until the end of April. Once May gets here, it will be glorious!!! I can't effing wait. I'm planning out my summer and my schedule for next year and things will hopefully go swimmingly. I wanna go on a wine tour after the semester is over. That would be nice. Then also I figured out that I will be able to go on a vacation the last week of August. I don't know where I want to go. Somewhere. Somewhere I haven't been before. I also want to drive there. So I've decided those things so far. Not much for plans, but they are forming. As for the middle part of summer, I'll be taking classes and working. Going to be a busy bee, but without my internship I should feel less stressed. I'll get my work done during the week and play on saturdays. yippie!!

I feel like I didn't do much last summer. I wanna do as much as possible this summer. Really spend a lot of time outside. I wanna visit my family more too and go swimming. I also want to go to a lot of the festivals this year. I really have not experienced them much. I just want to be adventurous!!

I have lost my companion whom I would go on adventures with. This frightens me as the season enters. I invite everyone who wants to be adventurous with me!! As I do not like being alone. This is something that I need to come to terms with before the summer beings.

Pound it out this month, and I hope things will smooth out come May. Here's for being optimistic!!

I just had an interview at Unity Health in Greece for my placement for next year. It went really well and it is definitely a possibility for next year. I'd take it right away, but I do want to have at least 2 interviews. My one I was suppose to have on Monday got canceled!! ARGH They are holding off on their interns as of now. GAY. But Unity sounds GREAT. Lots of reports, diagnosing, and therapy. Sounds pretty intense. The intakes last 50 mins and you have to have the client diagnosed by the time they leave. All reports must be completed that day, and you have to type them up while the client is talking. Then the intake person becomes my client. Sounds like I'll have a pretty big case load. Also there are multiple group therapy sessions so I will be getting involved in one of those as well. Sounds awesome :-D So that's a possibility for next year!

On another note. FUCK AIG! Bastards

Going with the flow always seems to work out. Without any plans for st. patty's and not many people seeming wanting to go out, I talked to Jen online last minute about going to the Parade. We both wanted to go, but had not heard of any plans from anyone. So we decided to hit the streets together. I left my apt at noon alone. We meet up at the corner of Dartmouth and Park and were on our way. Meet a lot of her random friends on the way, names of which I could not recall. Parade felt really long, but the sun was so warm!:)

Denny meet up with us, and then I rounded up Tim as he was in the area. He left his friends and joined now our random group that formed. No one previously knowing each other except myself. We go to the underground as Jen wanted to see a band there. Ran into a guy I know. It was the "I know you!" I know you too type thing. Turns out he was Josh's friend's Joe's friend. Long list, but I knew I had met him before! So Sam ends up joining our group. I got beer spilled on me horribly bad, but Tim stole a shirt from the show, so I wore that. All worked out!

We got pizza, then walked forever away to a party. It was pretty lame and there were Kendall people there!!! So had a drink there and bounced! Went to Oxfords where I ran into my classmate Katie and her friend Joe who I had met a couple times before. They join our random group. Then we get plates!! I ate all of mine except two bites of home fries. Oh So Full! Then we go to sports page and I'm losing my thunder. Decide it is time to go home. We parted ways and I walked to Steph-O's house and hung out with her and the M and Al for a bit, then Steph was kind enough to drive me home. I was pooped from all the walking!

So a day that started out with no plans turned into a really random but fun day.

Well I'm off to an interview at St. Mary's! Then work. Got another interview at Unity in Greece on Wed. I hope I find a good placement for next year :)

Pounding through. Almost done with the semester. Just over a month left. One year, and I'll be graduated with an MSW!!! :-D

I cried last night for the first time in a few months. I just don't know what to think anymore.